Deal

 "Deal!" We all shouted at the one holding the deck of cards. It was Christmas and all of my 18 cousins and their parents and our grandparents gathered in Idyllwild in a great wood and stone cabin with a large granite fireplace. Grandma brought a project- ribbon necklaces with bangles that would be perfect for Valentines! She loved (loves. the beauty of being a Christian!) projects and celebrations and preparations. We sat together on the worn rug, spoons carefully placed, ready to spare no one in our joyful, competitive clawing. The thud of those floors, the heat of the fireplace and joyful laughter of the grown ups sharing lives gifted me with a cozy loving bedrock

Visioning

What is your dream for your family? The more clearly we define our vision, the more we will align our energy toward our goal. 

When we create a vision for our family, we clearly see the wins throughout the day and they give us deep joy and a boost to keep working hard knowing we are seeing our vision come true.

5 Basic Emotions

Happy

Sad

Angry

Hurt 

Scared

Our emotions are gifts that allow us to experience the fullness of life and connection! They are signals along the way drawing our attention to things that matter.

Empathy

Empathy

 ✨ Magic ✨ in a parent's tool belt. When our kids REALLY truly deeply believe we get them, peace fills their bodies and they are ready to learn and grow. 

Shame Shaking and Self Acceptance

 

🖐🏼How easy is it to sit in a puddle of shame and 

👉🏼self blame👈🏼 and how bad does it feel?!

I am not alone and neither are you! We are all on a journey learning and will continue to be imperfect on this side of heaven.

We are all kids before God. We can do for ourselves just what we want for our kids.

Acknowledge *I did that and wish I didn't and I'm sorry. 

Make up *Can I get you water? Make a sorry card? Take your dishes? Clean up the mess?

And then remain open for love and growth 💖. By speaking to ourselves kindly reminding ourselves that we are learning and of course we will make mistakes like everyone else and by sharing our failures with others who will say "me too" and I love you. 

Detachment

 

It is okay and good to detach from our children's problems. Detaching in parenting means deeply caring while allowing our kids to live their own beautiful and messy lives. When we detach, our kids get to feel their own feelings about their behavior instead of our feelings. Kids in touch with themselves--what feels good and bad are kids ready to learn and receive the daily lessons from life.

Our loving detachment is the first step in teaching self control.

Paradigm Shift

 They're not out to get you.

They're not just trying to get away with whatever they can.

With their behavior-good and bad-they are speaking to you about what they need. 

They need you to show them how to get it in ways that feel right and true...because they are right and true.