But for posterity's sake, I must say that I just published 3ish blogs that were written a few years ago. Grandma did not die September 2015 and neither is Xander currently 18 months old. So future self, you're not crazy, the dates are incorrect.
The Bolagnaise Sauce, however, was from last night and you get to eat it again tonight for dinner.
Wednesday, September 30, 2015
I think my grandma might die today. She hasn't been happy for several years battling depression compounded by the death of my grandpa--her night in shining armor. She's wanted to die--to be with Jesus and grandpa is how she puts it.
She gestures with a feeble hand in her small living quarters at Grandview Retirement Home , "He was sitting right there
She gestures with a feeble hand in her small living quarters at Grandview Retirement Home , "He was sitting right there
Mercy Mercy
Today was a day of mercy.
I woke around 3ish when Xander cried for some yogurt. Will got up which he always does lately because I'm pregnant. I lay there listening to a scratching mouse wondering if I was going to hear the mouse trap spring and what I would do if I did. I lay there needing to use the bathroom, but not sure where that mouse was. And I thought about the day beginning in a few hours. Sunday. Quite (HUGELY) different since Xander entered our lives 18 months ago.
It's my turn to take him out between songs and run around with him through the church during the sermon. Then Will has a men's group during Sunday School when I'll go home because we're 4/4 getting sick in the church nursery and that hour of freedom is just not worth 7 days of sleepless nights and grouchy family. Plus the 4th try was last Sunday and he's still sick from that.
So I'll take grouchy baby home and then Will will come home for a bit and then leave for 4 hours to do premarital counseling which he does quarterly and which we remembered yesterday. And I'll keep the grouchy baby some more and the day will look like every other day of the week and I wanted to throw a fit because Sunday isn't supposed to look like every other day. I'm not sure what God's plan was for how Sunday is supposed to be a day of rest for people with tiny kids.
So then I had this wonderful thought about how even though the day was going to be a bummer for me, I was going to try to make it an encouraging day for Will. All this around 3 in the morning while needing to pee and listening with bated breath for that mouse trap. So be very impressed at my saintliness and kindness toward my husband. Haha.
So apparently that saintliness was dependent on one thing. That Will was going to get up with Xander in the morning after I had nursed him and I was going to sleep for another hour. Unbeknownst to me, those were my terms of kindness.
I woke around 3ish when Xander cried for some yogurt. Will got up which he always does lately because I'm pregnant. I lay there listening to a scratching mouse wondering if I was going to hear the mouse trap spring and what I would do if I did. I lay there needing to use the bathroom, but not sure where that mouse was. And I thought about the day beginning in a few hours. Sunday. Quite (HUGELY) different since Xander entered our lives 18 months ago.
It's my turn to take him out between songs and run around with him through the church during the sermon. Then Will has a men's group during Sunday School when I'll go home because we're 4/4 getting sick in the church nursery and that hour of freedom is just not worth 7 days of sleepless nights and grouchy family. Plus the 4th try was last Sunday and he's still sick from that.
So I'll take grouchy baby home and then Will will come home for a bit and then leave for 4 hours to do premarital counseling which he does quarterly and which we remembered yesterday. And I'll keep the grouchy baby some more and the day will look like every other day of the week and I wanted to throw a fit because Sunday isn't supposed to look like every other day. I'm not sure what God's plan was for how Sunday is supposed to be a day of rest for people with tiny kids.
So then I had this wonderful thought about how even though the day was going to be a bummer for me, I was going to try to make it an encouraging day for Will. All this around 3 in the morning while needing to pee and listening with bated breath for that mouse trap. So be very impressed at my saintliness and kindness toward my husband. Haha.
So apparently that saintliness was dependent on one thing. That Will was going to get up with Xander in the morning after I had nursed him and I was going to sleep for another hour. Unbeknownst to me, those were my terms of kindness.
There's nothing like the appearance of a formal page to bring on the writer's block. I write much better on a napkin or a scrap than typing in such a square rectangle.
Little dude asks to listen to his CD with the couch cushion on the ground for lounging. He walks looking at his feet with his arms up in the air as if to get them out of his way. He has 5 teeth and loves cold black beans right from the can. Today he got up on the couch for the first time by himself. He is finally a fun kid. He finally likes his stroller and car seat--seats I thought babies came out enjoying. He sleeps longer than 45 minutes at a time. He communicates with pointing and grunts.
Wow have I been brought low in the past few years. In roles I thought I would rock and that I judged harshly, I've been brought very low. Wife, mother, caring for orphans, friendship, homeowner, teacher. I could give a laundry list of how I've royally screwed up all of these and you wouldn't be able to say, "no, that's not too bad" you'd agree (maybe not to my face) and probably be embarrassed for me.. And oddly enough, I'm freed.
Little dude asks to listen to his CD with the couch cushion on the ground for lounging. He walks looking at his feet with his arms up in the air as if to get them out of his way. He has 5 teeth and loves cold black beans right from the can. Today he got up on the couch for the first time by himself. He is finally a fun kid. He finally likes his stroller and car seat--seats I thought babies came out enjoying. He sleeps longer than 45 minutes at a time. He communicates with pointing and grunts.
Wow have I been brought low in the past few years. In roles I thought I would rock and that I judged harshly, I've been brought very low. Wife, mother, caring for orphans, friendship, homeowner, teacher. I could give a laundry list of how I've royally screwed up all of these and you wouldn't be able to say, "no, that's not too bad" you'd agree (maybe not to my face) and probably be embarrassed for me.. And oddly enough, I'm freed.
Bolagnaise Sauce
For dinner last night we had whole wheat curly pasta with red meat sauce:
canned pureed and petite diced tomatoes
salt
pepper
garlic
generous basil
olive oil
oregano
2 finely chopped chicken livers
scoop of turbinado sugar
apple cider vinegar
tomato paste
ground beef-browned and seasoned
all natural sausage-browned
This was the best sauce I've made yet.
canned pureed and petite diced tomatoes
salt
pepper
garlic
generous basil
olive oil
oregano
2 finely chopped chicken livers
scoop of turbinado sugar
apple cider vinegar
tomato paste
ground beef-browned and seasoned
all natural sausage-browned
This was the best sauce I've made yet.
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